quislibet | Oracularity

exquiscadavre, whom, incidentally, I regard as something of a mentor in the art of being a bitter humanities graduate student, has hit upon a brilliant idea: using the Livejournal latest post page as an oracle. Here is how it helped me solve a problem:

Ignoring, as she reasonably suggests, all quiz and meme posts, those in unintelligible languages, or those that are too long or too short, one must

Scroll down until you hit the first post where someone is complaining about something. Within this post is a metaphorical description of the problem before you.

That yielded this post from (someone):

So, I'm sick.
BAH! you know what I hate? I absolutely hate being in the spotlight or having attention drawn to myself for any reason. Which is why I normally hide how or what I am feeling. But I guess involuntary shaking and freak semicatatonic states aren't so easily hideable. You know what else I hate? going to the doctor. But if going to the doctor means that people will leave me alone, I'll go. In fact, I'll go right now. I'm going home for the night.

Problem: (medical) attention. I might consider that a too literal interpretation, but in fact one of the problems facing me today is that I can't remember when my next doctor's appointment is. I think it's this week or next. Hmm. Weird. Let's move on.

The post directly after that (reload if that was the last post), represents the challenge(s) you face in solving the problem.

she is so cool, and Mark too

Challenge: I'm easily distracted, like the stereotypical vapid fashion model or the people who stare at them. I have forgotten for several days to check up on my check-up. I have to make myself remember to act, so I can stroll down that catwalk (representing, I expect, the treadmill to be used in the scheduled stress echocardiogram).

One sentence in the next post represents a strategy suggestion for meeting the problem. Find that sentence.

Dear Jesus make me simple, / Strong as trees to sway.

Strategy: Prayer? Or is it that I should focus on simplicity? Or on trees? This has me stumped, for the moment. -- Oh, dear, I said "stumped" in an arboreal context without meaning to. Perhaps that means that subconsciously I know that trees are important. -- Anyway. Let us see if the final step will clarify things...

Now, scroll down until you see a picture, ignoring quiz thingies. This picture is your cryptic advice for the day.

That, my friends, would be this:

Now. This is a picture of a moose observed on a college campus. At first glance, this is an unexpected sight: should I, therefore, seek my answer where I least expect it?

But without context -- and I think you will agree that the point of such electronobibliomancy is that context doesn't count -- we can't say that this is an unusual sight at all. It may be that one sees moose frequently on this particular campus, and the picture is noteworthy only because it is the first moose of the season, or that it is a particularly magnificent specimen. I'm not sure what this is saying. That's the problem with cryptic advice, of course. Is it telling me to seek the unexpected, or the expected?

That is when it hit me: I could look in the folder in my bag where I often keep appointment reminders and time-sensitive papers. That would be the expected place. But I had already looked there without finding it: that makes it an unexpected place. Either way I might choose to interpret the Oracle of the Moose, the answer seems to be: look in the folder.

Well! There it is: my appointment is next Monday. I had somehow overlooked the relevant document!

The "strategy" tip was probably about simplicity, then. Although paper is made from trees, which are, incidentally, made by Jesus.

In sum: I can recommend the Livejournal Oracle whole-heartedly.