Confess!

[quislibet]

Remember that LJ meme from years past where the reader is invited to confess something? Often anonymous comments are turned on, that sort of thing.

Well, here, I invite you to confess something -- but it doesn't have to be remotely real! Make it up, if you like. Verisimilitude doesn't enter into it. It could be blatantly impossible, or you could tell us something shockingly true under the guise of potential fiction.

I've turned on the non-IP-logging / anonymous-posting-okay options, but if you do it right, it shouldn't matter.

Edit, 7/27/04: IP-logging for anonymous entries has been turned back on.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I have a crush on you.

[alex-victory.livejournal.com]

The first thing that popped into my mind to confess:

I killed Jesus.

[(Anonymous)]

Hello Lawrey! This is Me, It's your friend Barney...you think the Arcanum game is fake? Well, it isn't...soon you and your friends will be my minions because of my evil book Laws of the Hunt...soon your souls will be mine and you will be the cause of my world domination happening...the ST's just THINK I was their idea...

[(Anonymous)]

I just happened upon my very first fan-fiction.

It was terrible.

Jesus/Judas slash.

Excuse me whilst I go wash out my eyes with carbolic acid.

[(Anonymous)]

Though society condemns me for my actions, I know that you would have done the same thing in my position. Wouldn't you? What else could you have done had you been surrounded by unattractive, overweight men in vinyl capes purchased from a Halloween costume shop? What would you have done had you been compelled to watch them play games of rock-paper-Nerfsword over and over again, had you been tortured, tortured I say, by their drunken cackling, their delirious grabs for illusory power, their embarrassing attempts to seduce the women?

So I did it. It does not shame me to say so. "None of this is real!" I cried. "You are living a lie!" And I admit it -- it brought me a dark, dark pleasure when I saw that every one of those sad, deluded men broke down and wept. As I watched their cheap eyeliner streaming down their pockmarked faces, I knew. I knew that I had ruined their lives. I knew that they would return to their meaningless jobs in retail knowing with desperate certainty that they were not soulless undead. And I was not sorry.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm a closet Backstreet Boys fan.

[(Anonymous)]

I commit virgin sacrifices.

It's true: six of them, seven if you count the one who was such a spiritual virgin it's no wonder that first marriage didn't work. Each one trusts me, each one adores me, and each one goes through bitter, painful months after I leave, during which time long lugubrious emails and phone calls arrive daily. I can't seem to stop.

[shnells.livejournal.com]

i sleep each night with a black hat with a bobble on it on my head. also, i like buttery brussel sprouts but *shhhhhhhhh* don't tell my mum or she'll make it every tme i go home. and hten i will hate buttery brussel sprouts.

[(Anonymous)]

I am a convicted child molester.

[exquiscadavre.livejournal.com]

Fine. Its true, I am indeed the Grand Duchess, Anastasia. I attribute my remarkable good health, and general appearance of youth to consuming a gallon of yogurt a day, and never worrying about the weather.

I should like Russia back now, and a samovar of very cold vodka.

[maartexx.livejournal.com]

I have done the Electric Slide. In public.

[maartexx.livejournal.com]

I was going to say that. Darn.

[phaidros.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry I caused all that cancer.

(not original, but still, a classic KITH bit!)

[alonewiththemoon]

Years ago, I killed the Queen of England and replaced her with a robot cobbled together out of meteorites and bits of string. For a while I was quite proud of myself, but nobody ever noticed, and that made me sad.

[(Anonymous)]

I am really a howler monkey living in a lab in Virginia. I have a smoking problem and I gamble on-line.

[ex-sjc.livejournal.com]

I once ate an entire pound of butter in one sitting.

[maartexx.livejournal.com]

OUCH.

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

*feels queasy*

[screed.livejournal.com]

Is it the one called "The Last Supper"?

I wrote that.

[(Anonymous)]

Whenever I see bald guys, I want to wax their shiny pates.

[(Anonymous)]

I drove the white Audi that killed Diana, Princess-o-Wales.

[(Anonymous)]

^^ Yours sincerely, HM Elizabeth Regina II ^^

[lhp.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know all about it. Fortunately, someone at White Wolf made sure to mistype the title of that evil book so that the Wise among us would be alerted.

[(Anonymous)]

Hey, you're just doing what has to be done. I think we can all respect that.

[(Anonymous)]

I hope you don't use our precious federal science dollars to support your filthy habits!

[(Anonymous)]

It's like the electronic confession equivalent of showing up in the same dress or something! But that's okay.

[(Anonymous)]

This morning, while taking naked pictures of myself to post on the internet, I stubbed my toe.

[maartexx.livejournal.com]

At least it wasn't your manhood.
Personhood?

The confession is....

[maryksfox.livejournal.com]

I love your writing! (and the imagination of your friends !)

Re: The confession is....

[quislibet.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[silver-notebook.livejournal.com]

In my youth I saw a man with the most beautiful all encompassing smile on television: I decided that I would like to sleep with him. A week later I did.