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Nov. 8th, 2001 01:08 pmI have in front of me a once "blank book" in which I started writing the Obligatory Tolkien-Derivative Fantasy-slash-Parody Novel 20 years ago. That would make me about 11. It was 1981. I wrote a chapter or three at a time for the next couple of years, put it aside for a while, and then came back as a wise-ass sixteen-year old and annotated the previous stages, mocking my earlier self in a way I wish I hadn't because in many ways those annotations are more shudder-inducing to read now than the childish drivel that came before. The book ends on p. 80, a two-year gap between it and the previous pages, with my blowing up the universe in what surely would have been to anyone actually reading the story to that point quite an unexpected and unsatisfying letdown.
The story is about a young rare and unprepared albino cobra who has to travel to the land of the Big Bad and fulfill ancient prophecies by destroying said Big Bad, accompanied on his quest by his brothers, gnomes, a fox, some elves, and a telepathic cat and rabbit.
Some of my later self-criticisms are to the point. Consider this gripping scene from p. 10, in which the gnome king Orik gives his son Belnar, disguised as a humble shopkeeper, this list of provisions (which I had felt the need to write out; as you will see, I was already playing D&D at a tender age):
5 swords
8 backpacks
8 canteens
8 50-foot-coils of rope
8 standard food rations
5 bows
5 quivers full of 20 arrows
"Belnar got them all. Orik checked them over, all were fine.
'Why only 5 swords, bows, and quivers?' asked Belnar.
'Because snakes don't use swords. Snakes don't have arms. However did you become prince?'"
At age 16, however, I had to wonder: What the hell did Orik think the snakes were going to do with backpacks?
Anyway. Off to the cafe to read more about non-Roman women and how they affect our understanding of Roman women.
I'm taking my Discman with me. Last time they lured me with The Clash but then broke out the Tom Petty, and I was heartbroken, even if at least one of y'all can dig it.
Although at about the same time as I was assigning mystical white cobras backpacks to wear, I did like the duet he sang with Stevie Nicks on "Bella Donna," the one about toting internal organs around. Not as cool as that one about exchanging clothing with Don Henley, but still.
The story is about a young rare and unprepared albino cobra who has to travel to the land of the Big Bad and fulfill ancient prophecies by destroying said Big Bad, accompanied on his quest by his brothers, gnomes, a fox, some elves, and a telepathic cat and rabbit.
Some of my later self-criticisms are to the point. Consider this gripping scene from p. 10, in which the gnome king Orik gives his son Belnar, disguised as a humble shopkeeper, this list of provisions (which I had felt the need to write out; as you will see, I was already playing D&D at a tender age):
5 swords
8 backpacks
8 canteens
8 50-foot-coils of rope
8 standard food rations
5 bows
5 quivers full of 20 arrows
"Belnar got them all. Orik checked them over, all were fine.
'Why only 5 swords, bows, and quivers?' asked Belnar.
'Because snakes don't use swords. Snakes don't have arms. However did you become prince?'"
At age 16, however, I had to wonder: What the hell did Orik think the snakes were going to do with backpacks?
Anyway. Off to the cafe to read more about non-Roman women and how they affect our understanding of Roman women.
I'm taking my Discman with me. Last time they lured me with The Clash but then broke out the Tom Petty, and I was heartbroken, even if at least one of y'all can dig it.
Although at about the same time as I was assigning mystical white cobras backpacks to wear, I did like the duet he sang with Stevie Nicks on "Bella Donna," the one about toting internal organs around. Not as cool as that one about exchanging clothing with Don Henley, but still.
