The Freshness Seal

[quislibet]

In college, a fellow resident of Babcock Hall known as the Weed-Man -- because his surname was, in fact, "Weed"; I do not mean to imply anything else -- and I were sitting in a lounge or a dorm room or perhaps both, as he and his roommate had more or less opened up their room as an unofficial lounge, computer room, and bar.

But the location is not so important.

The Weed-Man and I, I say, were somewhere, in the same place, and talking.

We were eating Pringles. This is important.

One of us noticed, suddenly, the legend written at the top of the canister:

Look for the Freshness Seal.

The Freshness Seal! But what is this? We discussed various things it could be: anything from a sticker or piece of wax that closed something to an aquatic mammal that personified the essence of Being Fresh.

All we knew is that we had to look for it.

Well, as time went on, we would occasionally compare notes and agree that we were not having much success. The Freshness Seal continued to elude us. Eventually, we both graduated and lost contact with one another. I don't know where the Weed-Man is today, I am sorry to say. I hope he is well.

Today, I noticed something shocking: the can of Pringles in my office says "Look for the Flavor Seal"!

Does that mean that the Freshness Seal has been found? Has the Weed-Man found it? Or someone else -- some dark rival of whom we were ignorant, who is even now using the Freshness Seal for evil, and only by the power of the Flavor Seal can we hope to defeat him?

Or perhaps I, with my past failures, am now thought unworthy to seek the Freshness Seal, and so must be content with a lesser quest.

I do not know, my friends. I wish I did, but I don't.

All I know is that if I were to put a webcam in my office window facing the library steps across the sidewalk, I could make a mint with some sort of upskirt voyeur website. Did no one teach these undergrads how to comport themselves while so clad?

Comments

[lilithraevyn.livejournal.com]

I terribly needed to laugh, thank you.

Though now, you've inspired horribly cheesy (hahah, oh the possible pun!) ideas for D&D. As if the Jackie Chan cartoon or Pirates of Dark Water wasn't enough...

[lintqueen.livejournal.com]

I am sure no one taught them how to comport themselves while thusly clad. It makes me quite sad...

[alonewiththemoon]

could this be the Freshness Seal?

(that's my desktop wallpaper at home. your post reminded me of him.)

Ah, BU, where the skirts grow shorter and the heels grow higher as the days grow warmer...

[quislibet.livejournal.com]

could this be the Freshness Seal?

It could be! I'll look into it; thanks!

[cinemama.livejournal.com]

Thanks for giving me something else to feel inferior about. I've never even *hear* of the Freshness Seal.

[lachesis.livejournal.com]

heh. I hadnt realized they changed the term on the box. :) Thanks for your diligence!

Also, "All I know is that if I were to put a webcam in my office window facing the library steps across the sidewalk, I could make a mint with some sort of upskirt voyeur website. Did no one teach these undergrads how to comport themselves while so clad?"

.... that's what happens when you sell belts masquerading as skirts.
I remember when I was in school, they wouldnt let anyone wear minis of any sort - and I went to public school. These skirts "nowadays" dont even qualify as a mini -there's not enough material!

[quislibet.livejournal.com]

belts masquerading as skirts

Actually, many of them are perfectly chaste drapey skirts below knee-length. It's only when they sit on the library steps for a cigarette or cell phone call that one questions their notions of modesty.

I've seen men walking by my office almost trip because they were looking left at the steps.

[sorceror.livejournal.com]

Maybe there's a whole bunch of different seals. Collect them all!

[exquiscadavre.livejournal.com]

If I recall correctly, there are seven seals that comprise the apocalypse: conquest, slaughter, dearth, death, freshness, flavor, and Bob.

Of those, I can only truly recommend Bob, though frankly, I wouldn't spend time looking for any of them.

Fresh

[phenomenologica.livejournal.com]

That goes onto my "best livejournal posts" ever list.

Re: Fresh

[quislibet.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[spriggan.livejournal.com]

apparently flavor is more important than freshness, nowadays.

[leahfelicity.livejournal.com]

One less seal for next year's winter coat! Damn!

I think that they decided that since things weren't especially fresh, at least the staleness could be flavorful. They gave up on fresh after the Fresh Prince of Bel Air went into syndication and they had no more role models.