quislibet | In the spirit of McSweeney's

I bring you "Real quotations from World of Darkness RPG character backgrounds found online, copied-and-pasted for your entertainment"

The lost Assamite was none other than the great Sir Lancealot.

The King of Japan soon called upon him to be his personal body guard.

Now convinced that she is only the beast, the wonderful rage of Brujah, and the undying presence of evil dankness snarling hungrily in the shadows with no shame.

Soon the indians noticed that I only wandered at night and as the other squaws got older and slower, I was as I was when they first saw me.

And so began her tailspin into Darkness.

At the tender age of twelve years old, Doyle became barred from the fights when he killed an opponent. [...] The local mafia decided that they wanted and possibly needed Doyle as a killer for hire.

Tathria is also a slave, but a liberated one. She is married to her one time master Thomas and she is deeply in love with him. She has also attempted suicide once due to a problem out of character, we had a misunderstanding.

Each time his hand slapped her flesh, each time he took her innocence from her, each time he lashed her delicate skin with the leather strap, each time she learned to protect her soul. That was something he could never touch, have or defile. She saved her soul for knowledge.

Vielleicht kennt der Leser Sid Vicious? Er war Bassist der 'Sex Pistols', mein 'Kind' - und für mich eine ganz persönliche zwischenvampirische Tragödie.

In 1976, Chavez decided to move the majority of his ranch to Owensboro, Kentucky, thinking it a wise decision to be near the Kentucky Derby.

Since she had scored so high o her aptitiude tests,(35 on her ACT, 1589 on her SAT, and 99 on her Military Entrance Exam), she was accepted immediately into NMU.

She has a small cult following of like-minded pyromaniacs who don't truly understand what she is, but they believe that her fire has helped her achieve another level of being.

She possess deep aquatic blue eyes that reveal her childhood passion for swimming while at the same time conveying a powerful lust for killing.

He walks with the saunter of a stocky body-builder, arms forced away from his side's because of his gigantic shoulders, biceps, and pecs.

J is incredibly good looking and could easily be a male model if he so desired.

Moira has long dark red hair, slightly wavy and very beautiful.

Gabriella is beautiful, but totally unaware of the fact.

She was once every mans wet dream, a sexy, stupid woman with a beautiful voice, and now she's nothing more than a nightmare.

----
I recommend also reading this.